Am I wrong in assuming that when you saw the title of this blog you immediately thought of sexual love? If I were a stranger seeing it, that’s the way I would think. I may write a blog with that focus someday because we need to give more attention to the sexual dimension of love.
But that’s not where I am today. I’m posting this because this is Mother’s Day week-end. There is no way to disregard the fact that you and I were conceived through the passionate bonding of our mothers and fathers making love. Sex and the sexual relationship of a mother and father is one of the most important aspects of our life as humans and we should never diminish it. But I’m talking about far more than that as I am pondering our celebration of Mother’s Day…
Mothers make love in a very special way. Let’s focus on that word “make” for a moment.
Barry Boulware expressed it well:
“When love is absent, a mother makes love present. When love is harmed and wounded, a mother makes love new again. When love is tired, a mother makes love strong again. When love is lost, a mother makes love findable again.”
But we would not be as understanding and affirming of mothers as we need to be if we did not insist that it is not just the task of mothers to make love in that fashion. We must all be committed to doing that, especially within the context of the family, but in all of life.
When love is wounded, we need to make it well again. We can heal the wounds of love with forgiveness and attention. When love is fading or when it is absent from a relationship, we need to put forth the creative imagination and unselfish energy to bring it to life again. When love is tired and when it seems to have gone the last mile, we can make it energetic and strong.
Focusing on mothers and family, there is a story in Victor Hugo’s last novel, Ninety-three, that says it all.
After the French Revolution, just living and finding food was difficult. Not a garden had been left growing. A French captain and a private walked across the fields, noting the devastation. When they saw something move behind a bush, the private poked his bayonet into the bush and out scrambled a woman with two children. All three of them were starving for food. The captain took a loaf of bread from his knapsack and handed it to the mother. She grasped it, broke it into two pieces, and handed one piece to each child. The private watched and then said to his officer, “Sir, it must be that the woman is not hungry.” The captain replied, “No, soldier, it is because she is a mother.”
What a picture. A mother giving everything for her children. It’s a dramatic expression of love.
So, where are you as you ponder the broad meaning of making love.
- What are the relationships where love is fading and needs to be fed?
- Who do you know that is undernourished relationally who could be fed by your love?
- Is there a need for reconciliation?
- What about your community?
- Where do you need to spend time and energy–talking and listening, being present—that prejudice may at least be dulled and hatred not allowed to take root?
There is not a single reader who does not need to become a better love maker.