“I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear
children. Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not
have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through
the gospel. Therefore, I urge you to imitate me.” (1 Corinthians 4:14-16, NIV)
If you don’t know the setting, the statement, “I urge you to imitate
me,” sounds like arrogance, the desire of someone who thinks more
highly of himself than he ought. But the word is from Saint Paul,
writing to the Corinthian congregation, which was in the midst of
urgent, destructive conflict. The situation was serious. In that
congregation were people who were critical of Paul, while others
supported him. Some might even have blamed Paul for their
difficulties. In reading the letter, we discover in the midst of
disagreements, Paul’s goal was always to build up the church. His
devotion to Christ often found him in trouble, frequently in jail.
Opposition was no stranger to him, but nothing would stop him,
certainly not his critics. Though dramatic, Paul teaches us about loving,
and needing and wanting the love of others. He was not trying to win
any popularity contests, but often in his writing we find tender
expression of gratitude for the love and support of others, confessing
how essential it was. Perspective is a huge factor. Fénelon counsels us
here.
“You are willing to give yourself up to others but this makes you an
idol to yourself and to them. This is the origin of this refined idolatry
of self that God would overthrow in your heart. The sufferings you
complain of spring from yourself. You listen to your self-love; go
where you will, you cannot escape God’s displeasure. There is no peace
except in the destruction of our self-love. If you would make the same
effort for the peace of God as you make against it, how unspeakable
would be your happiness.”
As we seek the peace of God, we must confess our self-centeredness
but also acknowledge our need of love from others. I grew up in severe
poverty in Mississippi with no electricity or indoor
plumbing. Neither my mother nor father went to high school. I felt
culturally, socially, and intellectually deprived. I developed a grim,
dogged determination to get out, spending a big part of my life driving
myself unmercifully. The game I played through the years was: “See, I
am worthy of your love and acceptance,” a distortion of my deep need
for the love of others.
We must consider whether it’s others’ love or praise we seek. The
praise of others was not something Paul sought. He spoke the gospel
truth boldly, despite the praise or blame he received. Yet he was honest
in expressing his need for love. We Christians want others to discover
for themselves the joy we have in Christ. There may be times when
others don’t want to hear what we have to say. Paul shows us we can
speak truth simply, with love, without arrogance.
Moment of Reflection: When have you sought praise or
acknowledged your need of love?
Prayer: Lord, I need your love and the love of others. Help me to
recognize when people are offering love; give me the humility to
receive it. Amen
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